The student news site of Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology


The student news site of Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology


The student news site of Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology


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Evil balls of fluff: rulers of the new world

Cats are set to rule the world
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A cat lays on a laptop. The evil and scheming look in their eyes, paired with a paw on the screen shows they are attempting to use osmosis to gain information. They must be stopped immediately.

From Egyptian mythology to Hinduism, cats have been worshiped in various cultures for thousands of years. According to Smithsonian Magazine, archaeological evidence suggests that cats were first domesticated 12,000 years ago. 

They have always been around us. 

As cats caught pests in human civilization, people welcomed them into their homes. Later, with more trade routes opening up, cats took advantage of the free transportation humans provided. They explored new areas along with humans. Since then, cats have strategically planned a way to conquer the world and force humans to bow down at their paws. 

These adorable creatures have been ruling over the internet for years now, earning titles such as “mascot of the internet” to “meme lords.” Anybody who’s been on YouTube for long enough has probably seen at least one silly cat video. Through the internet, cats have managed to capture the attention of millions of people around the world. 

Despite the adorable charm that cats seem to have, this is all an illusion to distract us from their true colors. Cats have been acting cute for the camera so that humans would never suspect what they are plotting. 

Cats have even developed sounds that mimic a human baby. According to Scientific American, a cat’s meow has a similar frequency to a baby’s cry. This poses a threat to humans, as the cat may soon try to replace your children. If you have young children in your home, it might be a good idea to keep your cat away from them. You never know when the cat may replace your kids. 

When you think of house cats, a ball of fur prancing over your laptop and kicking your mug probably comes to mind. Well, that’s your cat trying to gain knowledge. The Waccamaw Regional Veterinary Center confirmed that if your cat is sitting on your computer, they may be using their osmosis powers to collect information. Any cats found sitting on laptops and books should be removed immediately as they may soon attempt to use this to take over the world. 

It’s not uncommon for a cat to give a gift to their owner a dead mouse, bird or even a snake. Though it may seem well-meaning to the average person, the Taylorsville Veterinary Clinic revealed that cats are not giving them to you with good intentions. This may be their way of bringing you a warning. Be careful around any cats who are known for bringing dead gifts to their owners. They may be planning an elaborate ambush on their owner. 

Though this may sound heartbreaking for cat owners who adore their pets, it is time to face the truth. Despite the cuteness that radiates from them, it is all just a mask that your cat puts on. If it wasn’t planning world domination, why would your cat be out of the house for so long? Why would it be staring at you when you wake up in the morning? 

They’ve been planning this since they were kittens. 

One way or another, cats will find a way to take over the world. They already hijacked the internet and are finding new ways to take over the world. Perhaps it will be better to embrace their dominance and accept our fate. 

We are servants to cats. 

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