After reading that review, you feel a little pit in your stomach, realizing you wasted at least thirty seconds of your ever-shortening life reading trash. Feeling your eyes glaze over and your life force trying to extricate itself from your body, you closed the page. You had already seen “Godzilla vs. Kong” anyway, and shouldn’t have decided to read yet another review of it despite the fact that you already knew what you thought about it. Especially from this “Max Vetter” fellow. What in the world even is an “Entertainment Reporter”? That sounds like an illusory title, meant to trick you into thinking that his reviews have an air of legitimacy. What pompous pretension must pervade a perverted mind to penetrate even into their sense of basic human decency and persuade them to produce trash like this? You think this as you attempt to find some other review which could stimulate you, but alas, nothing. Instead, you just click on the next best thing.

I’m feeling lucky…